i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
COCAINE IS GR8
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