New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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