i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
should my penis look like a turkey
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
