direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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