I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
