I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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