WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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