Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
