i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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