saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize