some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
