saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
