sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just found a bag of teeth...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
