Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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