so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
