I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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