That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
