Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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