She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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