Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love you. Go after that dick
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
