Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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