so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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