idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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