Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
