Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
