he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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