we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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