the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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