We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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