I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
