hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
