my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
