Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
