last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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