FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
