The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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