you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Someone came in the potted fern
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
