maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize