Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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