my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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