Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Randomize
