If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize