guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
