margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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