I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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