Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
