I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
