Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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