im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So much Jack, so little girl.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
