I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize