he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
