i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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