She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
