he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I could fuck to npr.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize