You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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