I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
