So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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