So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dick very happy bro
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
