hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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