Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
