Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
