dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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