He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
